Last Whispers
by UmbraTsuki
Summary: Starting off at the end of KH 358/2 days...this is a fanfic about what Xion is thinking at that time. -** Discontinued **
1. Intro and Day 359 : Seasalt Icecream

**"Last Whispers"**

KH Fanfic

_((I originally called this 'Xion's Final Moment' as a temporary name, but I decided that that's not creative enough xP. So I called it 'Last Whispers" because it's the best thing I could come up with in...a few seconds...^^'_

_So anyway...it starts off at the end of 358/2 Days--Don't read further unless you've played the whole game--after Roxas battles Xion. _

_It's a tiny bit different, because in the game the ice comes up a little, then all at once when she dies. But in this it goes up gradually...so yeah...))_

Roxas was strong. I knew that well, even before our fight began. I knew, deep inside, that he would win. I knew that I probably wouldn't see him again afterward.

So why did I even decide to start it? I could have gone to Sora by myself, without forcing my best friend to hurt me. I guess I didn't think about what he would be feeling afterward, or what I would be feeling.

Well, of course I didn't. Nobodies weren't supposed to feel. But still…after being with Roxas and Axel for all this time…how could I not think that we have emotions? What we shared…our friendship…it was as real as possible. Even if we were Nobodies.

"Who are you…again?" Roxas stumbled a bit, from falling so far. At least he was mostly okay. "I feel like I'm forgetting something really important."

I felt like crying, at those words. I knew that it wasn't his fault, but that didn't stop it from hurting. I loved him. Both Roxas and Axel. And I would be forgotten…

When I collapsed, Roxas caught me. His arms were so…comforting. It's a bit late to notice while dying, but it was still true. He asked me if he had done this to me.

I denied it. "I chose this," I told him, as I was beginning to disappear. My feet and legs were freezing in ice, and my strength left. I was dying. But why did it have to hurt, emotionally, so much?

I put a hand on his, the one that he had under my shoulders. "Roxas…I need you…to do me a favor," I managed to say. He was staring at me with those deep blue eyes, the same eyes that Sora had…but I couldn't help thinking that Roxas's eyes were prettier. They reminded me of the deep ocean, while Sora's only reminded me of the sky. The ocean was a much rarer sight.

"All those hearts I've captured," I continued. "Kingdom Hearts…set them free…" it grew harder and harder to form words as my body continued to disintegrate. The ice traveled farther up my legs, covering my knees, thighs…slowly, but at the same time, quickly.

"Kingdom Hearts…free them?" Roxas asked. It was a lot to ask, I knew that. But it had to be done by someone, and…Roxas was probably the only one capable of doing so. I trusted him.

"It is too late…for me to undo my mistakes…" I managed to reply. It was then painful to even let a single word out…every word had to be forced out, burning my throat…still, it was worth it. For Roxas. "But you can't…let Xemnas have Kingdom Hearts…you can't." I probably didn't sound very convincing, since I was fading away, after all…but I had to try. "Goodbye, Roxas…" The ice advanced some more. "I'm glad to have met you…oh…and Axel, too…you're both my best friends…"

I raised the hand that had been on his up before it could be encased in the ice that was now past my waist, and caressed Roxas's face. I wasn't sure why I did. It just…felt right. Comforting. I knew I was about to cry…I would miss him so much…

"Never forget…that's the truth." It took a great deal of effort to even murmur these words. The ice was starting to cover my chest, and I could barely breathe. I wanted so badly to cry…but wouldn't it make Roxas feel worse? I knew it couldn't make the situation any better.

His face was starting to blur in my eyes. My vision wasn't working right, any more. I tried to memorize what I could. Even if it were only for a few more seconds, his face was what I would last see…

I faintly noticed that my arm dropped, but Roxas caught it.

"No!" The pain in his voice only made me want to cry more, but I was too far gone for that to be possible. In the last second, I saw recognition in his face, his eyes, before it became too blurry to make out any details. He had remembered me.

Wasn't that enough?

-----

_((next part might be a slight spoiler for "Remembering XIV"))_

When I woke up, I was surrounded by white.

'I'm in Sora's mind,' I realized. I don't know how I did, but it just…came to me. Sora was still asleep.

'Roxas…' I remembered what had last happened. 'What is he doing, now? I wish I could see him…'

I would have cried, if I were capable of doing so. But I didn't have a body anymore.

Did I have anything?

-----

_((I might write my other fanfic, "Remembering XIV," from Xion's point of view. So here's the first day, kinda as a test run._

_Feedback/reviews are appreciated! ^_^))_

**DAY 359** ~ Seasalt Icecream  
Sora's mind was pretty boring when it was white. Sometimes memories would play--me seeing them through his eyes--and I guessed that they were part of his dreams.

Sometimes he dreamed of talking to some of his friends from the island. But when it was plain white, there was absolutely nothing to do.

I guess I shouldn't complain. I was supposed to be dead, anyway.

So I passed the time by re-living my own memories. I started with the earliest one that was most important to me--the day Roxas invited me up to the clock tower for the first time.

He handed me a blue icecream that was on a stick and asked me to try it. I did. It was salty, but also sweet…unlike anything I'd tasted…though that didn't say much since

I didn't even have memories from the past. I told Roxas what I thought of the ice cream, and he smiled.

I remember thinking that his smile was even sweeter than the icecream, until I told myself to get real. I was a Nobody.

Roxas told me about his friend Axel. I had faintly remembered seeing him before, but I guess I hadn't payed much attention to anyone until I met Roxas. He kind of…broke whatever kind of trance I'd been in for the first week or two.

I asked if I could be friends with Roxas and Axel, of course not knowing what I was getting myself into. I didn't regret it, but if I'd known the future would I have made the same choice? Would I still have even spoken a single word to Roxas?

He said that he could ask Axel. He wasn't sure about this stuff, himself. But he said we could all thee eat icecream up on the clock tower together, once Axel got back from his mission.  
I agreed. After that, we didn't talk about much…just watched the sunset and ate our icecreams.

That was barely the beginning of what was to come.

-----

The memory had to end once Sora started dreaming again. I guess I couldn't visualize things as easily when he was dreaming. Maybe I was supposed to watch the dream.

I did, anyway. He dreamt of the old Riku…I guess Sora hadn't seen Riku at all recently. Or maybe he had asleep the whole time, after Riku changed…

Then the dream focused more on Kairi. The day that they'd been split apart, once again, at the island. Sora promising Kairi that he would come back.

I hadn't seen Kairi at Destiny Islands. Though she was more likely to be on the main island, and I hadn't gone there. But Riku…what had he been doing at the islands, the one time I saw him there? Had he been checking on Kairi?

I would probably never know.

Thinking of the beach there reminded me of the promise that Axel, Roxas and I had made…that we would visit the islands on our next vacation day. I wondered if the organization has had one, yet.

-----

Sora's dream had faded, giving me time to think about the past again. I recalled the day that we had our vacation.

I had just used the training room in the Organization's castle, fighting against Dusks and such. Afterward, I rested in my room for a bit. Just relaxing.

I went up to the Twilight Town clock tower to meet up with Roxas and Axel. They were there already, as expected.

Roxas asked if I had ended up going anywhere. I hadn't, so I asked if they'd gone somewhere without me.

"Axel went somewhere. He went to sleep," Roxas teased. We joked about him for a bit--in a friendly way.

I wished I could go back to those days.

_((This is somewhat incomplete, sorry....))_


	2. Day 360 : Not the Same

_((I hope you like Chapter 2~_

_This made me kinda sad though...:(_

_If I ever met Xion in real life, I'd give her a big hug!! She deserves one!!  
I know that will never happen, but still.... xS_

_Anyway...enjoy!))_

**DAY 360** ~ Not the Same

(Chapter 2)

I am not sure how, but some part of me was able to keep track of the time. I knew how long it had been since I first came into Sora's mind, and I knew how much time kept passing.

My thoughts were almost always about Roxas. He had been such an important piece of my existence--I was created as a copy of him, but I didn't think that was the only reason. Roxas had always been there. He'd spent more time with me, cared about me more than anyone else in the Organization was even capable of.

I often had wondered if Roxas truly didn't have a heart--and I still do. He showed as much emotion as Sora had in his memories, if not more.

And what about me? I claim to love both Roxas and Axel. Is this real emotion that I'm feeling, or a trick? I have no idea. I don't know if I ever will.

I thought back to the period of time when I had left Roxas and Axel and been with Riku for a while. Riku had taught me a bit about who Sora was, and about myself. But was it worth it to leave my best friends for that?

One other thing I did notice when with Riku, though, was how the way he showed emotions wasn't all that different from. The way Roxas and Axel did. Is that just because Nobodies could fake emotions? Or did we really have them?

I felt like I did. All of us. When I ran from Roxas in Twilight Town a couple times…it hurt me. I felt bad for running from them, but I also felt ashamed of myself and didn't want to face them. If I continued running, I would miss my best friends--and if I didn't, I would have to confront Axel or Roxas. What would they think of me?

I finally decided to let Roxas catch me. I purposely ran to a dead end, knowing that he'd find me there. So I let down my hood and faced Roxas.

"Where have you been?" Roxas started to approach. "Axel and I have been looking all over for you."

"You have?" I felt delighted, but also regretful. They hadn't just forgotten about me and moved on, but I felt bad for doing that to them. They didn't deserve it. I stared at the ground, not wanting to look at Roxas directly. "Sorry."

"Let's go home," Roxas suggested. "If you come back voluntarily, Saïx will let all this drop. He has to."

Really? I think Roxas and I both knew that Saïx wasn't always that forgiving. At least Roxas and Saïx were my friends--but Saïx might be even harder to face. Still, Roxas and Axel seemed to want me back…why didn't I go quickly?

"I don't care what he said to you," Roxas began. "I'll be there. Axel and I--" He started to come closer, and I automatically reacted, taking a step back as he was about to continue.

"I really can't," I said quietly.

"Why not?" Roxas asked, in a slightly demanding voice. He reached his hand out toward me. "C'mon."

I'm still not sure what made me want to run at that exact time, but I started to. I only got a few steps away before Roxas grabbed my arm to stop me.

"Wait!" he almost pleaded. It wasn't like I could go anywhere with him holding onto my arm like that, though. For the first time, I felt a bit of…annoyance at Roxas.

I summoned my keyblade. This startled him enough for him to let go, for which I was glad. But I needed him to see that…I couldn't just 'go home.' It wasn't that simple. I pointed my keyblade at him, as a warning.

I was about to start running again when a pair of familiar Chakrams flew by, colliding with my keyblade. Both Roxas and I recognized who it was even before we saw or heard him.

"Well hello there," Axel greeted in a slightly bitter tone, "Xion."

This had annoyed me even more than Roxas's persistence. Was I just in a bad mood that day? Well, probably not. I am a Nobody, after all. But Roxas had at least used more respect in his voice.

"Axel?" Roxas said this with a questioning tone of voice, though he already knew the answer.

I attempted to attack Axel, without thinking. I just ran up and swung my keyblade at him. My first attack missed, of course. The very first move had been Axel's, so the element of surprise was lost. What was I trying to do when I attacked Axel, anyway? Was it just a reaction?

Axel spent no time hesitating and counter-attacked. "No, wait!" Roxas seemed to be growing panicked. I didn't pay much attention, though--I was focusing on the fight.

I still wonder if the fight had been a real fight or not, though. It felt like neither of us wanted to really seriously hurt the other, and the fight seemed to consist of mostly blocked attacks. All Roxas did was stand and watch. I didn't think much of it, then, but now I see that there's not much he could have done, anyway. It was so sudden.

"STOP!!" Roxas shouted. I was startled enough, remembering that he was standing there, to stop look at him. There was…pain in his eyes. Whether it was real emotion or not, it was there.

In the next second I felt an attack somewhere directly on my nerves, and then nothing. Everything was blacked out as I was knocked into unconsciousness.

It was almost the opposite of being in Sora's mind, where everything was white.

-----

Sora began dreaming again. This time it was of some of his travels to different worlds, with Donald and Goofy. They'd been through so much together. They cared about each other.

Sora's care for his companions didn't feel much different than what I felt for Roxas and Axel. Did that mean that I could truly feel emotions?

Answers to all the questions that I have could fill many books.

-----

I remembered the waking after Axel had brought me back to the Organization. I had wondered how I got in my room, but after remembering what had happened earlier I guessed that Axel brought me there.

I felt a sense of…dread. What would Roxas and Axel say the next time I talked to them? I was a bit afraid to find out. Or at least, I thought I was afraid--I couldn't understand whether I really was or not.

"What should I do, Riku?" I murmured, knowing that he wasn't there. But he seemed to know so much…would he know the answer?

After that day, it was a while before we all had ice cream together again. Even then, we didn't talk much. It was so quiet…I missed the days when we could joke around while we ate icecream. The days when we shared stories or experiences, when we trusted one another.

They had disappeared, even back then, hadn't they? Why did they? What happened?

The next time I actually talked to Roxas more was on our mission together in Agrabah. Somehow, though…I was getting stronger while Roxas was getting weaker. Axel later explained the reason to me, but it made me feel a bit guilty. I didn't want Roxas to go through any hardships because of me.

"I'm glad you're back, Xion," Roxas had said, that day on the clocktower. He gave a slight smile when he said that, though in a way it seemed…sad. "I just wish Axel didn't have to be so rough with you."

It was my fault that he had to be. "I guess he's not coming today…" I mused.

"You want him to?" Roxas asked.

"What, you two have a fight?" I knew why. But I didn't want Roxas to be mad at Axel over that. It was a stupid reason.

"I can't believe that jerk would actually attack you."

These words hurt me a bit. I had attacked Axel, too. Did he just ignore that part? "So he's a jerk, now?"

Roxas didn't respond. He looked the slightest bit ashamed, and just stared out at the sunset.

"Roxas, I wouldn't be sitting here with you if he hadn't done that," I reasoned. It was true. I had been about to run off again when Axel attacked that first time. "He's your best friend."

"So are you," he countered.

That silenced me for a moment before I thought of my next words. "It's just not the same without all three of us."


	3. Day 367 : Friends

_((This chapter seems so...short to me D: _

_Doesn't it seem short?_

_But in any case...I hope you like it!!))_

**DAY 367** ~ Friends

(Chapter 3)

It was hard not to think about those days. Back when Roxas, Axel and I knew we could always count on one another. After missions, I had always looked forward to seeing my friends up on the clock tower.

It all fell apart. Everything did. I wanted to blame someone--the Organization, or even 'Sora'--but I would be blaming them for nothing. A Nobody that had no business existing in the first place.

But I had an even more pointless existence, didn't I? I was a puppet. Only a replica of a Nobody. Replicas shouldn't exist. Nobodies shouldn't exist. I was both.

Still, Roxas and Axel…they made me feel like I belonged. Whether I actually did or not. Who would be the one to decide whether I truly should exist or not, anyway?

Roxas and Axel were the ones that mattered to me the most. I didn't ever want to part with them. It had to happen though, didn't it? Was there any way I cod have stopped it?

Maybe not. Not after finding out what I did. Maybe sometimes ignorance really is bliss.

-----

Sora's dreams seemed to get gradually shorter and maybe fewer in number as time went on. By the time Sora was about to wake up, would he not dream at all?

That day more memories of times spent on the clock tower surfaced in my mind. They had never left, but…sometimes it was easy to get caught up in Sora's memories, instead. To sometimes forget about my own identity.

Did I even have one, now? Was I losing myself? Was I supposed to fade away and truly become one with Sora, Xion not even existing anymore?

I didn't want that to happen. Yet it almost seemed to be…

I remembered the last time I had felt close to this way. That I was losing. Axel and Roxas had helped me through it--when I had lost my keyblade.

We only had one last mission together, Roxas and I, before I was supposed to start performing more solo missions. Saïx had already suspected something, hadn't he? And because of Roxas's help, I was able to get my keyblade back.

"What about my keyblade?" Roxas had asked when I failed to summon my own. "Can you control mine?"

Roxas held out his keyblade and I took it. The keyblade was just like mine…yet a bit different. Like the keyblade knew I was not its true master. But it didn't reject me completely, either. "I guess…I can," I told him.

"Then go ahead and use it for the day," Roxas suggested. Use his keyblade??

"But, Roxas--" I tried to protest.

"Maybe it'll help you remember how to summon your own," Roxas explained. His eyes seemed so…kind, yet determined at the same time.

"What are you gonna use?" I asked quickly, before he could say anything else.

"Well…" obviously, Roxas hadn't thought about it. He looked around and picked up…a stick. I had no idea where it came from--we were in the middle of a castle--but he managed to find one. "I can improvise."

Not knowing if he was actually thinking straight or not, I said, "Roxas, that's a stick."

"Hey, you manage without the keyblade. You think I'm not up to it?" he reminded. Roxas had a point. But still… "Just take it. It's fine."

"Okay, if you're sure," I didn't see any reason to keep arguing. "Thanks, Roxas." I gave him a small smile, and he smiled back. This probably sounds weird, but I've always liked to see Roxas smile. It was…comforting? Reassuring?

Emotions were hard to name.

-----

Later on during that mission, I was finally able to regain my keyblade. It was all thanks to Roxas and Axel.

"Thanks Roxas," I said at the end of the mission, before I knew that I could summon my own keyblade. "You can have this back."

"Did it help?" Roxas asked, as he took back his keyblade. "Do you remember how it works, now?"

I shook my head, unsure. "I don't know. Let me give it another try." I concentrated on trying to get the keyblade back--on the feel of the cool metal beneath my fingers; of how it felt to battle with it…

And the keyblade appeared in my hands.

The happiness and relief that I felt at that moment was beyond anything I had ever felt before that. I was so glad, so relieved, to have my keyblade back, to no longer have to worry.

Roxas put his hands over mine. "You did it!"

I was overcome with excitement. In that moment, it didn't matter that I was a Nobody. I was just me. "I don't believe it! Roxas, it worked!" I was definitely grinning, not able to contain my feelings. "Thank you so much!"

"I can't wait to see Axel's face when we tell him about this," Roxas smiled back. "C'mon!"

"Okay!" I laughed as he started to pull me back to the Dark Corridor. It was amazing--everything was working out.

-----

"Axel!" Roxas said as we got up to the clock tower. I was trying hard not to grin, and I guess Roxas was excited, too.

"Hey hey! What are you grinning about?" Axel asked.

"How was your mission?" Roxas glanced at me and I knew he wanted to wait a bit before telling. I was fine with that. In fact, I felt like I would be fine with anything at that point.

"Oh, loads of fun," Axel rolled his eyes. "Would it kill the Heartless to hold still? I fell right on my butt chasing the stupid thing."

Roxas laughed, and so did I. What an image!

"Nice," Roxas laughed some more. "Didn't I hear you tell Saïx you were a big boy?"

"Very funny," Axel was smiling slightly, though. "How did your caper go?"

Roxas glanced again and I nodded. Then I summoned my keyblade, this time with ease. It was definitely back!

"Ta-daaah!" Roxas was grinning again as he gestured to my keyblade. I couldn't help but smile, too, and Axel's impressed look pleased me as well. I felt great!

"I'd like to dedicate this keyblade summoning to my good friends Roxas and Axel," I declared, smiling. I dismissed my keyblade then, not seeing any reason to keep it out.

"Pfft, me?" Axel looked at me in disbelief. "I didn't do anything."

"Sure you did," I nodded. "If you hadn't spoken up this morning me and Roxas would've had to split up."

"And then Xion might never have remembered how to use the keyblade," Roxas finished for me.

I nodded again, in agreement. "Thanks, Axel."

"Ahem…how 'bout an icecream, then?"

"Huh?"

Axel laughed. "Buy me one, and we'll call it even."

"You got it," I laughed a bit, too. It felt great to laugh. "Wait here, I'll be right back." I turned around and ran down the clock tower towards the sweets stand. It hurt a bit to run, since I was already exhausted, but I didn't care.

I was so happy. I could forget all about the Organization and that I didn't have a heart and all that. I was just Xion--and I felt happy. Even if the happiness and laughter didn't last, it was there right then, and that was all that mattered to me.

_((By~ the way...if you have any suggestions for some memories that I should have Xion re-live in this fanfic..._

_Spoiler -- before Roxas appears in Sora's mind as well -- End Spoiler_

_...then please tell me! If I put it in I'll credit you for the idea, and it will be helpful to me, too! ^_^))_


	4. Day 368 : Emotions

_((Here's chapter 4!_

_I would have uploaded this yesterday along with RXIV chapter 21, though I didn't have time._

_I hope you like this, even though it's short...._

_Uhh..._

_I've also uploaded 3 different one-shots today, if you're interested in reading those ^^. Two are from Xion's point of view, like this story is, and one is from Naminé's point of view. If you read and review them, that's highly appreciated...:]._

_And now...enjoy the chapter!))  
_

**DAY 368** ~ Emotions

_((Chapter 4))_

If only I could go back to those days. When did it all change, I wonder? To this day, I still can't tell. I that I know is that it did change.

So what would happen next? Would I be in Sora, as a part of him, forever? Would I be surrounded in white or his dreams until he woke up? And what would happen to Roxas?

I wondered what Roxas was doing, then. Was he okay? Did he remember me at all?

Of course not. I shouldn't get too hopeful. I knew he would forget me. So why did the idea of being forgotten…hurt so much?

-----

Back before I had really met Axel, when I was still newer to the Organization, I remember when Roxas had fallen asleep. He had fainted during a mission in Agrabah, or so Xigbar had told me.

Roxas slept for weeks. On that first day that he had fallen asleep, I had seen the beach. Back then, I still felt really…empty. I wanted something that I could relate myself to.

When I saw the beach, I was sure that I'd found it.

Maybe it was because of Sora's memories. Maybe it was just my mind playing tricks on me. But either way, the beach always seemed familiar to me. It also gave me a sense of…peace.

Even now, I'm not sure why I decided to collect seashells and leave one for Roxas each day. It felt like something I should have done, but why? Was it because the seashells reminded me of the sea, which was so peaceful? Was it because I liked the seashells themselves?

I didn't know it then, but later I realized that I had worried about Roxas. Emotions back then still had no meaning to me. I didn't know or care what they were or what they meant.

But either way, I knew I felt…even emptier than usual when Roxas wasn't around. I wanted him to wake up. Yet Saïx and the others…they wouldn't tell me anything.

So the relief that I felt when I found out that Roxas had woken up was beyond words. Even back then…Roxas was important to me.

-----

_ "I hope we always have each other," Roxas said, as he stared out at the sunset.  
_

_ "Yeah…" I couldn't help but agree. What would I do if I ever lost Roxas and Axel?  
_

_ "What's gotten into you?" Axel asked.  
_

_ "I just…want these days to last forever," Roxas explained. "Hanging out, icecream, sunsets…"  
_

_ "Nothing lasts forever, man," Axel shook his head. "Least of all for a bunch of Nobodies." I __couldn't help but sigh at this. It was quiet for a moment before Axel spoke again. "But you know, we'll still have each other…even if things change and we can't do this anymore."  
_

_ "Yeah?" Roxas looked hopeful.  
_

_ "As long as we remember each other, we'll never be apart," Axel said. "Got it memorized?"  
_

_ "Ha ha, wow, Axel," Roxas grinned. "That sounded ridiculous."  
_

_ "What?" Axel sounded a bit startled, but in a joking manner. "I thought it was pretty deep."  
_

_ "Heh heh…" I tried holding back laughter, but it slipped out.  
_

_ Roxas was laughing, too. Eventually, even Axel joined in. _

-----

What was that? A dream? A memory? It was a memory of some kind, and it seemed like my memory, but it didn't feel like my own. It felt like a dream. I know it wasn't. A far off memory.

Was it fading?

There was a time that I had fallen asleep for a few weeks as well. I don't remember much about it. But soon after I woke up, I got lucky enough to have a mission with both Axel and Roxas.

We were to destroy two giant heartless. I helped out with the first one, but I guess that my body was still too weak. I collapsed soon after the battle..

"Are you worried about her, Axel?" I could faintly hear Roxas's voice. I wasn't sure where I was…it felt like…the Castle That Never Was. I was back in my room.

"Of course I am," Axel answered. They were both speaking in hushed voices, trying not to wake me, I suppose.

"Doesn't seem like you," Roxas teased.

"What do you mean?"

"You hate complications."

"Roxas…" Axel let out a small sigh. "I meet up with you two for ice cream, right? Why do I do that?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, you think about it," Axel said. "I don't need to go out of my way, right?"

"I guess not," Roxas replied.

"You wanna know why I do?" Axel asked, barely pausing to wait for an answer before he laughed and continued. "Because you're my best friends. The three of us…we're inseperable."

"That's right--get it memorized," Axel seemed proud, though it was hard to tell since I was still half asleep. "And you know what? Best friends are willing to deal with complications."

"Yeah…" Roxas paused. "Yeah, you said it!"

I couldn't help but laugh a bit at this. I sat up slowly, to look at my two best friends. "Thanks, Axel," I smiled. "You're sweet."

Axel scratched the back of his head nervously, and maybe his face even turned a bit red. It was hard to tell.

"Feeling better?" Roxas asked me, concerned as always.

"I just got a little dizzy," I answered. "Sorry to worry you guys."

"Try not to scare us like that anymore, huh?" Axel told me, smiling a bit.

"Okay," I smiled back. It felt great to be back with Axel and Roxas.

"And you take it easy today."

"I will," I promised. "Thanks."

What would I have done without them?

-----

I had always kept the seashells that Roxas left for me when I was asleep. It was the same thing I had done for him, but I wondered what made him do that.

I had kept the seashells in a pile at the foot of my bed. I was careful not to knock it over whenever I walked past it…the seashells were important to me.

I often wondered what Roxas had done with the seashells I gave him.

-----

Sora's dreams returned again. He missed his friends. He wanted to see them.

_It's not much different from what I feel for my friends.._ I thought again. Even though I wasn't supposed to feel emotions…I kept thinking that.

When would I be able to fully understand these emotions?


	5. Day 378 : A Setup

_((I'm such a bad writer ;-;. Especially with all my procrastination...this is 4 days late._

_Actually, a few **months** late, really._

_And it's not even that long..._

_Uhh. But yeah. I had some help from the lovely readers of this fanfic for ideas of what memories Xion goes through...but just so I don't spoil the chapter, I'll tell you at the end, 'kay? ;D._

_I hope you enjoy this, even though it's so late!))_

* * *

**DAY 378** ~ A Setup

There was a certain mission…a mission that the Organization had set up to test my and Roxas's strength…it had always haunted me.

Saïx told me to go to Halloween Town and defeat the Orcus. I immediately opened a Dark Portal and headed there, wanting to complete the mission quickly.

The familiar gloomy atmosphere of Halloween Town hit. I had appeared in the middle of one of the graveyards. Not seeing anything, I headed towards the center of town.

I had almost made it back to town when I encountered the Orcus.

"Here it goes.." I summoned my keyblade, determined to defeat the Heartless.

We seemed to be an even match. But I knew that if I didn't end the battle soon, I'd exhaust myself and lose the ability to fight.

I was about to attack with all the strength that I had left to spare. And that was when Axel came in.

"STOP, both of you!" One of Axel's Chakrams blocked my Keyblade...and when I saw Roxas on the opposing side, I could barely believe my eyes.

It seemed I wasn't the only one.

"Xion!" Roxas exclaimed, surprised.

"Wh..." I was almost speechless. "What are you doing here?" Then I realized. "The Heartless I was fighting-it was you?"

Axel nodded. "This mission was a setup," he told us.

"What?" Roxas turned to him, finally relinquishing his battle stance. I did the same.

"It was rigged so you two would battle each other."

"Me and Xion?" Roxas seemed as bewildered as I was. "But..."

"They would do that...?" I could hardly believe it. To be put up against one of my best friends...and not even realize it...

I felt so ashamed.

* * *

We all decided to go back to the Clock tower and have ice cream. Maybe get our minds off of whatever the Organization was planning.

"Brain freeze," I laughed, feeling the iciness of the sea salt ice cream. But as cold as it was, it was good.

"Been a while since we all hung out like this, huh?" Roxas asked.

"Well," Axel responded, "we have had our share of drama."

I nodded slightly, agreeing. It was silent for a while, but then Axel spoke again.

"Hey I just remembered," he said. "Did you guys know you should be checking your ice cream sticks?"

"Really?" I thought it sounded pretty ridiculous. Checking trash..? "For what?"

Axel just nodded, grinning. "Once you finish your ice cream bar, check the stick," he confirmed. "It might say WINNER."

"Hey wait a second..." Roxas trailed off. "Oh yeah!"

"'Oh yeah' what?" Axel eyed Roxas suspiciously. I almost laughed.

"Uhh..." Roxas looked out toward the sunset, taking another bite of his ice cream. "N-nothing. So what do you win?"

"Heh," Axel smirked. "Beats me."

"Haha," Roxas laughed, and I grinned. "You don't know?"

Axel laughed, too. "It's gotta be something good if you're a WINNER!"

"Right!" Roxas agreed. We all began laughing.

I stared out at the sunset. "Wow the sun sure is beautiful," I commented. It was. "I know we've seen a lot of sunsets, but today's puts them all to shame." I paused for a moment. I suddenly remembered, remembering what the Organization had done earlier that day. Wondering what else might happen. "If only things stayed like this.."

Everyone was quiet. There wasn't much to say. We were probably all thinking the same thing. At least, that's what I thought until..

"What if we all ran off?" Roxas suggested.

"What?" I was surprised he would say such a thing. I knew that...we'd all be turned into Dusks. It wasn't as if the Organization wouldn't eventually drag us back.

"The three of us," Roxas continued. "Then we could always be together."

"We don't have any place to run," I reminded. There wasn't anywhere to go. We all knew that, but..

"I know," Roxas shrugged and smiled. "I was just thinking out loud."

"Well, even if things change," Axel said, "we'll never be apart-"

"As long as we remember each other..." I finished. "Right? Don't worry, Axel-we got your hokey speech memorized."

"Just checking," Axel laughed.

I remembered something else, as well. "I'll have these moments memorized for a long time," I stated. "Forever, I hope."

"Me too," Roxas nodded. We all stared at the sunset. "Forever..."

* * *

But forever couldn't happen. It was gone now. Right? We were all separated, now. And remembering each other...did they remember me?

I remembered them, but for how long?

* * *

There was another time I'd fought a friend...he wasn't a friend at the time, but we later talked. It wasn't until our second meeting that I found out his name was Riku.

I'd been sent on a mission to find this Organization impostor. When I stepped through the portal into Beast's Castle, I didn't know what I was expecting. But a ballroom...definitely wasn't it.

I decided to search through the castle, first. Go outside afterward. When heartless appeared, I tried to ignore them. Saïx had warned me that I should save my strength for the end. Whenever I found the impostor.

I ended up having to go outside-and, somehow, he was right there.

I summoned my Keyblade, immediately. He seemed to have noticed, because he turned toward me. I couldn't see his face, since the hood covered it...but I felt like he was watching me.

"Who are you?" I demanded to know. Of course, he didn't answer. Instead, he began to turn away.

So I attacked him.

He summoned his own weapon and blocked the keyblade before I could hit. I tried to strike again, but he was always able to block, or otherwise avoid my attacks.

Eventually he ended it. Saïx was right about me needing my energy for this-but I used it all up, anyway. The impostor was able to knock away my Keyblade, and I fell, too.

I could hear his footsteps approaching, and clenched my hands automatically. What would he do?

When he lifted off my hood, I caught a glimpse of what he looked like. His hood was off, too. He had long silver hair and a black blindfold. I thought I saw one of his eyes-aquamarine in color-for a moment, but I wasn't sure.

"Your face..." he took a step back, giving me a chance to pull my hood back up. "Who are you really? And why do you have a keyblade?"

How was I supposed to know that? "Tell me first," I said, "why you are dressed as one of us."

"To make sure my best friend...sleeps in peace." I was almost surprised that he gave an answer at all. He walked toward my Keyblade, which I now noticed was stuck in the ground. "I don't know who you're supposed to be. But...you can't fight fire with sparks." Riku took my Keyblade out of the ground, studying it. "This keyblade's a sham-worthless."

I watched as he threw the keyblade back toward me, and it landed by my side. I felt...some sort of energy that I couldn't name. Some emotion. I later knew it was anger.

"My keyblade is not a sham!" I yelled. "What gives you the right to say that?" I picked up my keyblade and ran up, trying to attack, again. He dodged at the last minute, striking me from behind.

I fell, again, and I wondered how many times I would fall.

"Find a new crowd," he said. "Trust me. Those guys are bad news." I could hear his footsteps again, this time fading.

I sat up to look. "Why?" I didn't want to give up. Or maybe I didn't want him to leave. Even though he was the enemy.. "You're the real sham!"

"Fair enough," the impostor didn't turn. "You could say that I am...the biggest nobody of them all."

He left, then. I saw him open a Dark Portal-he was gone.

I let out a cry. A scream. I didn't have to know what it was-I knew I was frustrated. Even as a Nobody...I knew.

* * *

_"Good tidings, friends," a voice said. Somewhere in the back of my head, I knew this was Xemnas._

_I stood at the edge of some room. A round room, with thirteen tall, white chairs circling the center. I couldn't see much from where I was. There was a lot of white._

_"Today is a momentous day," the voice continued. "I am pleased to announce that a new comrade has been chosen to wear the coat."_

_I don't know why, or who, but something told me to step forward. To go to the center of the room._

_"Number XIV."_

_That was my number. I had a number and a name, but nothing else. Nothing..._

_"Let us all welcome one of the Keyblade's chosen."_

_Something caught my attention. Someone. And I looked up._

_Directly in front of me, in one of the tall chairs...staring at me like everyone else, but he seemed different._

_His hair was light, his eyes blue...but a different kind of blue than the blue in the castle we were in. They weren't as cold._

_The next day, I heard his name..._

_Roxas._

* * *

_((Yay..._

_Okay so credits.._

_For the Roxas-vs.-Xion-setup scene ~ **TUNSEM**_

_For the Riku-vs.-Xion-scene ~ **talkstoangels77**_

_For the scene in which Xion first appears in the Organization ((when she's new)) ~ **AJ1ri**_

_Thank you all~! :D. And there are other ideas I've been given, as well, that will appear in future chapters..._

_I'll try to write quicker next time~))_


	6. Day 380 : Choices

_((First off, this chapter is EXTREMELY late, and I very much apologize :C. Luckily my interest in this fic has gone up lately, so hopefully I can get out more chapters._

_On the down side, however, I have art blocks of all kind, including writing. So this chapter is shorter than usual, and perhaps not as good, and blah..._

_I apologize! Really :C. I'll try to update better~ ;-;_

_Well anyway, here's the chapter..))_

**Day 380** ~ Choices

It seemed like I'd had to face making choices a lot...minor, or major. How to go about my missions? What should I bring? How should I defeat the heartless? Many minor choices...

And then there were larger decisions. When I thought about whether I should trust Axel or not, the first time I met him. Or whether I should try to find out more about myself.

But it felt like the largest choice of all...was the one that seemed to make the most difference.

* * *

The last thing I remembered before my mind went...blank...I'd been fighting a large Heartless, one that overpowered me, and was saved by _someone_. It was only when I woke up again that I could know who.

Waking up was weird. The first thing I noticed was the smell of the ocean, the air around. I recalled being on Destiny Islands...the Heartless battle... And I felt someone's arms underneath me, supporting me.

I opened my eyes, squinting at first because of how bright it was, and was surprised at who I saw. "Are you..." 'The imposter' didn't seem polite enough, after it seemed he'd just saved me.

"Riku," the blindfolded man replied. Could he see at all? "Sora's friend."

"Sora?" The boy from the memories! But... "You know Sora?" I sat up, trying to get a better look at this person's face. Riku. Why did he have the blindfold, I wonder..?

"Yeah," Riku stood up, offering me his hand. I didn't exactly _need _help with standing, but it was...nice..

"Thank you," I said first. "You saved me, but I don't know why you did."

"I guess..." Riku turned away, starting to leave. "I just felt like it."

"Riku, please," I said, before knowing exactly how I would word my next question. I wanted to know more about the memories I had, Sora's memories.. "Tell me more. About Sora and that girl he's always with."

He stopped and finally turned back toward me. "You mean Kairi," he corrected.

"Kairi..." I repeated. The name was new, yet it felt so familiar...so normal to say. "That's right. She's the one who looks so much like me.."

"To Sora..." Riku approached me again, and I wondered exactly how much he knew.. "She's someone very special."

"It's just.." I looked away, feeling...awkward about looking directly at him. There was...something about Riku that was maybe a bit intimidating. "I remember things about the two of them. But I'm nothing more than a puppet - something that somebody created." I found myself walking toward one of the palm trees, unconsciously moving away from Riku. Thinking about that fact I was a puppet...I didn't like it..

"So why would I have...their memories?" I wondered, putting a hand on the tree and leaning on it a bit. The support felt...needed, even from an inanimate object.

"Do you know where Sora is, now?" I asked finally, turning back to Riku.

"That secret stays with me."

Riku's tone of voice made me look away, again. "Why's that?"

"Xion...your memories," Riku said, "they really belong to Sora."

Surprised, I looked at him again. "So you mean.." It all seemed confusing. "I'm like a part of him?"

"When his memories were scattered, some of them...found their way inside you," Riku was walking toward me, now. I flinched a bit, seeing how close he suddenly was, how quickly he was coming.. "Now, Sora has been put to sleep so that we can piece together his memory. Except..."

"You can't because part of it is inside of me," it felt weird to realize that kind of thing. "That means he can't wake up.."

"Yeah. You got it," Riku nodded. "But, if you go with me to Sora right now, we could give the memories inside you back to him."

_That's the only way I'll know where Sora is...right? And even then it won't matter.. _"So," I looked up at Riku, again. "Do you hate me for taking your friend away from you?"

"Nah," Riku's head shook slightly. "I guess...I'm just sad."

_Sad...huh.. _I couldn't know that much about sadness, but I knew it was a terrible feeling. "I' sorry, but...I can't go with you," I told him. "It's my friends - they need me. And I need them, too."

"Maybe...you should take some time and think about it," he suggested. "Figure out who really needs you more. And where you belong."

"How will I know where I belong, truly?" I questioned. I felt like...I knew I wanted to be with my friends, but did I belong with them? "I'm not sure I can promise you I'll come up with the right answer."

"Well the answer you come up with can't just be right for you. It has to be one that works best for everybody," Riku turned, starting to walk away. "You and your friends and everyone else."

"I'll try," I said. At least I could promise that much. When I looked up, again, he was already gone. But...maybe still nearby? "Thank you...Riku."

* * *

The decision wasn't so easy to make. During the time I spent with Riku, I felt like...maybe I should go back to Sora? Yet I missed my friends. And during my time with them, I wished it would never have to end. I love my best friends.

Yet in the end...I did have to leave. I hope for being able to spend time with Roxas and Axel again, spend time like we did before. But would that be hoping for too much?

_((Sorry for the short chapter! Hopefully I'll have another one up soon.))_


	7. Day 394 : The First

_((This is rather short ._._

_But I found it and it seemed like I didn't have more planned for this chapter..._

_I hope you enjoy it anyway!_

_I think the going through memories will be over fairly soon.))  
_

**Day 394** ~ The First

All things need to begin somewhere, right? So did my friendship with Axel and Roxas.

I had lost my Keyblade. Saïx sent me on a mission to Twilight Town to defeat the 'Veil Lizard'. Instead, I found that my Keyblade still wouldn't return, and I lost the battle with the Heartless. I couldn't return without accomplishing my mission...but I wasn't strong enough without my Keyblade.

Still, I hadn't expected to get help from Roxas and Axel. I was so glad...until I remembered that it meant I would have to go back again. With no Keyblade.

"Eat up," Roxas said. "It's gonna melt."

We were all sitting on the clocktower, ice cream in our hands. I couldn't focus on the ice cream, or even the sunset, though..

"I know," I responded.

"What's wrong?" Axel asked me. "Not hungry?"

I was silent. It wasn't that I didn't want to eat the ice cream...but...

"You wanna talk about what happened?" Roxas asked.

"We're here for you if you wanna get it off your chest," Axel told me. It was...weird. He was so friendly, even though we just met. "Right, Roxas?"

"Yeah," Roxas agreed. "That's what friends are for."

I looked toward the sunset. Should I really tell them? "I can't..." I took a deep breath. "I can't use the Keyblade anymore." I wished that I could. "And without it, I can't do my job."

"What happened?" Roxas asked. The look on his face made me want to explain, even though I didn't know what that look was..

"I don't know," I said. "But if I don't defeat Heartless with the Keyblade...the hearts they release just find their way into other Heartless, instead. I swat them in one place, and they just pop up in another." Too many times...what's the use? "I'm supposed to be collecting hearts. Those are my orders. Without the Keyblade...I'm useless."

"Is there anything you can do, Axel?" I heard Roxas ask.

It made things a bit better that Roxas was trying to help...but would Axel be wiling to? I'd just met him..

"Wish there was..." Axel trailed off. "But...it's like Xion said. No Keyblade, no can do."

"They're gonna turn me into a Dusk once they find out they don't need me," I spoke maybe a bit louder than I was going to. But Roxas spoked before I could say anything else.

"C'mon, Axel, think of something!"

"Hey, I'm racking my brain here, and there's nothing I can -" Axel cut off in mid-sentence. "Wait."

"What?" Roxas asked, looking at Axel. "Tell us."

"What if you worked double duty, Roxas?"

"Huh?" It seemed like Roxas was just as confused as I was.

"What do you mean, Axel?" This time I spoke up.

"Xion, stick with Roxas until you can control the Keyblade again," Axel began explaining. "Make sure your missions are with him. Then, he can collect the hearts...and nobody will ever have to know that you're not doing the same."

"Axel, that's brilliant!" Roxas's reaction was much quicker than mine. Could it truly work?

"Ah ah ah, BUT...Roxas, that also means you have to collect twice as many hearts," Axel reminded him.

"I can do it."

"You don't mind?" I looked at Roxas. He was more powerful than me, but would handling it be hard for him?

"Of course not!" Roxas grinned. He was so confident!

"But-"

"Hey, friends have gotta be able to lean on each other now and then," Axel cut me off. "Ain't that right, Roxas?"

Roxas nodded. They were both looking at me, and I looked back at them.

"Thanks..." I smiled softly. "So...Axel, does that mean you and I can be friends?"

Axel looked away and scratched his head. "Well, yeah," he said. "Was there ever any doubt? Any friend of Roxas is a friend of mine."

"Thank you...Roxas, Axel, thank you!" I could feel something come over me that I couldn't recognize, but later knew was happiness.

"Eat your ice cream." Axel was smiling, but it seemed like he wanted to hide it.

I did, taking a bite before I could start laughing. The good feeling stayed, and I was glad that it was there.

That was the beginning...we always kept the routine of meeting on the clock tower after missions. It was a time that I could talk to Axel and Roxas, and it would always make me happier.

No matter what, I was glad..

_"Genie sounded really worried about his friend - some guy named Al," I said. "But I guess you can't always hump in and do everything for your friends - even if you want to."_

_"That's right," Axel nodded. "People need their space."_

_"So then, why did Genie say he an Al were 'inseparable'?" Roxas asked._

_"Yeah, it's not like they were joined at the hip," I added. How could anyone be inseparable?_

_"Well, I think you can be inseparable even if you're apart," Axel told us._

_"Really?" Roxas and I both didn't get it. Being together while apart..?_

_"Sure, if you feel really close to each other," Axel shrugged. He took a quick bite of his ice cream, reminding me that my own was melting. "If you're best friends."_

_"What's it like having a best friend, Axel?" Roxas's question, again._

_"Couldn't tell ya," Axel replied. "I don't have one."_

_I don't know why I felt...bad, when Axel said this...but I couldn't find the words to say anything else after that._

_But silence among friends is just as good._

I couldn't help but wish that Axel and Roxas were with me again.


End file.
